Rudolph the RED-conf'd router
   had a very tiny queue,
And if you ever used it,
   you would say it needs a clue.

All of the peering routers
   used to laugh and call him names.
   [Like "droppy" and "lossy" :-]
They never let poor Rudolph
   forward any IP streams.

Then one immense fiber cut,
   In Sean's NANOG Post:
Rudolph with your queue so tight,
   won't you squeeze my streams tonight?

Now all the routers d-CEF,
   As they load-balanced with glee.
Rudolph the RED-conf'd router's
   peer went down in B-G-P!

Peer went down in B-G-P!
Peer went down in B-G-P!



And the original post to Inet-Access which started it all on January 25, 2000:

At 01:15 AM 1/24/00 -0500, Avi Freedman wrote:
>Could be improved, but funny as is...

[SNIP}

Could be improved a *lot*.  The meter is all wrong and it does not rhyme.

Here is the original song for reference:

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer 
  Had a very shiny nose 
And if you ever saw it 
  You could even say it glowed 

All of the other reindeer 
  Used to laugh and call him names 
They never let poor Rudolph
  join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas eve 
  Santa came to say (ho ho ho) 
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
  won't you guide my sleigh tonight

Now all the others love him
[Now all the reindeer loved him]
  As they shouted out with glee 
  [And they shouted out with glee]
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,
  you'll go down in history 

You'll go down in history 
You'll go down in history 



So, keeping that in mind, I'd like to offer:


Rudolph the RED-config'd router
  had a very tiny queue,
And if you ever used it,
  you would say it needs a clue.

All of the peering routers
  used to laugh and call him names.
  [Like "droppy" and "lossy" :-]
They never let poor Rudolph
  forward any IP streams.

Then one immense fiber cut,
  In Sean's NANOG Post:
Rudolph with your queue so tight,
  won't you squeeze my streams tonight?

Then all routers dropped him,
  As they filtered him with glee.
Rudolph the RED-config'd router,
  you need to do B-G-P!

You need to do B-G-P!
You need to do B-G-P!

        -- ianai :)


Is that any better?  Suggestions are welcome.




Also, we can add the ISPF-version of Tolkien's classic:

One ring to rule them all
One ring to find them
One ring to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them

Which becomes:

One default to route them all
One command to find them
One route-map to pref them all
And in the A.S. bind them

Or another version:

One AS to route them all
One AS to pref them
One AS to peer them all
And in the route-map bind them


In the land of [insert favorite backbone], where the Peering-Pig-Fuckers *LIE*



And finally:

Old McRouter had a 'Net
C-I-S-C-O
And on his 'Net he had a port
C-I-S-C-O
Here a port, there a port
Everywhere a port port
Old McRouter had a 'Net
C-I-S-C-O

(This one could be used for just about anything.  But it would get really bad really, really fast. :)


TTFN,
patrick

P.S. Don't blame me, Avi started it!!! :) 

--
  I Am Not An Isp - www.ianai.net
  ISPF, The Forum for ISPs by ISPs, <http://www.ispf.com>
  "Think of it as evolution in action." - Niven & Pournelle
  (Enable?  We dunt need no stinkin' enable!!)